The Tough Days of my Life

The last 1 month has arguably been one of the toughest phases in my life. My FB status messages ranged from

If life was a game of poker, currently am ALL IN and am playing BLIND. My opponent – DESTINY.

‎…and then there is this sudden urge to spend time like good ol days – random chit chat in the college ground, foot-board travel on 29c to Max mueller bhavan with the cool evening breeze on your face, hot chaai and vadai from unni nair, german class, theatrical attempts thanks toKrishna Kumar. S , followed by the 40 min bus ride back home, late night phone calls.. It was so much more simpler back then!!

To say am confused would be an understatement

stressful day.. didnt know it would be so difficult to say NO!! thanks Deepak Kapur Srikrishna Swaminathan Ramprasad NarayananNimisha Jain Vandana Rangarajan for helping me out!!

Now that I have taken a decision, I thought it would be beneficial to jot down this decision process just in case I wanna rue my decision .

Problem: Wanted to shift southwards due to personal reasons

Confusion: Could not decide between the 2 offers on hand – join a new company or accept the offer from my current employer

These 15 days have been a wonderful journey where I have interacted and opened up to so many people. In the process I have discovered a lot of hitherto unknown things about my own self.  The most striking of them is that I use my right brain to make my decisions. Most decisions in my life till date, as I sat and recollected were basis emotion than reason.  The macro picture is what mattered to me! So if I have always been a right brainer why the confusion now? To my utter dis-belief and shock, I discovered that MBA has changed me!!! I look for logic, I look for reason, a 2×2, a cost benefit analysis and then decide. I am looking for some scientific backing for my intuition.

It was a tug of war – the emotional side asking me stick to the current company and the rational pushing me to take up the new offer. Even as i write this, my stomach rumbles and churns and I can hear my heart beat get louder as the chit chat and clutter at the coffee shop fades out. To decide between something so fundamental, rooted in your self and kinda defining your identity and something which just looks rational!! in fact a couple of people I consulted (the consultants) actually said – What is there to decide? It was as simple as choosing between a Peter England and Louisphilippe for them. But the surprising thing was that 4 out of 5 people asked me to list down the pro’s and cons and make some kinda 2×2. It was difficult in part cos I have never been used to such systematized approach to a problem. I generally sway to my heart.

12 full days, and still no solution in sight. It got to a point where the fact that I had to make a choice grew larger than the problem itself.  Finally, I succumbed to leftists. I decided to make a rational choice.  But, even now I am not too convinced and I think that’s why the decision was difficult, as I did not have a clear winner.  The scary part is that, going forward I will have to make many more such decisions in my life