what exactly is the purpose of life? Does a purpose exist at all? Why do we value something which is temporary? why do we have to attach ourselves to something and then feel the pain when it is taken away from us? why exactly are bonds made? Why do we have to look forward to things.. what is the whole meaning behind expectation and hope. Why are we being tricked day in and day out? Why do we wake up thinking today will be better? Whats the difference between living a life of accomplishments and a mediocre one.. cos death is still the same… Whats the fishing difference? why this struggle.. why this pain.. why this agony.. and most of all.. why so many questions?

I vaguely remember how we were asked to judge our actions by asking ourselves if we would be comfortable if the action/consequences of the action appeared in the next days paper. I propose a new metric – before sending/storing any SMS ask yourself if you would be “OK” if somebody stole your phone and got to read all of ‘em!

Today’s L^2 was enlightening. I was cursing the fact that my ill-health prevented me from shaking a leg. Guess there is good in bad too .. Of late I have tried to get into this observatory mode and what better a place to observe people than a daru party!! I figured that there are 8 types of GUYS in any given party. Read on to find out more!

1. The Jacksons – They are studs when it comes to dancing but are really sad when it comes to girls. Given this, they are the hot favorites for FRIENDS ONLY girls.

2. The Single Bonds – Everything about them is just perfect. Its their constant state of Change which can cause problems sometimes. With them around there is always bound to be some action.

3. The Bonded Bonds – Very rare species. They are a delight to watch in a party. There is so much more grace and commitment to their actions. Trademark – Sudden Disappearances

4. The Firang Hunter – With a drink in hand and hopes in his mind he sets out with a target in mind. Soon he finds out that he is not the wonly one.. They are the true entertainers!

5. F.R.I.E.N.D.S – This is the most vibrant group in the party. They add most of the color, humor and energy to the party.

6. The Napoleons – Women are either too trivial or complicated for these people. They do not want to put “FIGHT” and are happy sipping their drink and watching the proceedings from the sidelines. Might occasionally shake a leg.

7. Loners – Very rare. Their presence/absence doesn’t really add much. They are there either to see if they can collect some gossip or to think of What if stuff. Some loners are also Napoleons.

8. The Fun Lovers – Unlike F.R.I.E.N.D.S there is no set gang for these people. They do crazy stuff and are loved by one and all.

This was it! He could not take it anymore!
He was being troubled for neither could he express his love for her nor could he muster the courage to tell the world about her!
On a starry winter night.. he sat to recollect his journey – The early days of ‘innocent’ fun, the fleeting glances, coffee breaks for the sake of spending time with her, Polishing his shining shoe so that he could take the same lift as she, His first SMS… their first night convo… how he felt his stomach imploding when he first asked her out and she refused to give an answer..their first bike ride and the list goes on! Everything about her seemed so happy! With their eyes blinded by Love and Hope they set out to enjoy this wide world! It started with bike rides, then graduated to coffees in the city. After countless such meetings, they decided to go to a movie! What a day it was. The excitement level was unimaginable. And then it actually happened. The spark! That electrifying feel. It was as always – accidental! He had dropped his mobile and as he grappled in the dark, he happened to touch her feet. Time seemed to stop. Its funny how some moments remain etched in our memory irrespective of how insignificant they are in the larger scheme of things. This was one of them. But alas, all good things have to come to an end. And in his case – the end was brutal! They finally woke up and realized that their hope was mis-founded. With one eye open to the reality and the other blinded by love, they refused to give up. (To be Contd..)

…And he said
‘ As the last few days of our lives go by
As we spend the last few hours together
fighting, flirting and recollecting
all the things that we have ever done
reliving certain special memories
holding hands for that one last time…
the letter that I first wrote to you comes to my mind..’

“But if you love and must have desires, let these be your desires
To know the pain of too much tenderness
To be wounded by your own understanding of love
And to bleed willingly and joyfully
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips”

This is what I would do.. for you..and you alone!

And as they walked silently along the shore; the waves flirting with their feet.. far away from them..they saw the reflection of the water turning from silver to orange and knew it was time.. for tomorrow will be a new day… A day where they would don new masks and start new journeys..A day of Opportunities… But today.. today was the day of realization – as they embraced each other for one last time…and as the palms bid adieu..they realized PAIN..

It was never easy. Both of us had committed terrible mistakes and there way way too many mean words that we had exchanged. But then.. now things are back on track. and look good if not great… and this is just a random post to virtually capture that moment however ephemeral that moment may be..

I have had this confusion for long.. Whats the difference between a manager and a leader. but I think this has been the most convincing one so far -

“Managers do ‘things right’ whereas Leaders determine what are the ‘right things’ to do in the first place.” – Peter Drucker

We were close to an hour into the conversation
We love each other so true
But just couldnt make it through

The thought of seeing her with someone else
Brought along a thousand tears

But. no.. I cant afford it now
I had to be there for her..
for she was breaking down

Finally..she soothed down..
and as we bid aideu
She made that little gesture
Which reminded me of the good old days
and then dropped down that suppressed tear…

unakkul aayiram kashtangal
adhai maraithai ennai sirikka vekka

enakkul aayiram kashtangal
adhai maraithen unnai magizhvaikka

namakkul aayiram prechanaigal
adhai maraithom.. en?

ivvalavu kashtangalai thaandi
kadal thaandi…malai thaandi

indha oru nodi naadi naan vandhen
unnai partha andha oru nodi

un kural keta andha nodi
un vizhi partha en vizhi

naan marandhen, vizhundhen
ezhundhu tavazhndhen

endha oru thadaium nammai thadukkadhu
namakkul irrukure indha oru pinaipei
yaaaralum asaika mudiyadhu

aanaal… idhu nilaikuma?